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Jul 14, 2008

Does life suck?

You know, I've had various people in my life tell me, "Life sucks". I've always hated that phrase. In my mind, when someone says that, I'd think, I hate that phrase. No matter how bad my life was, and it was bad at times, I didn't want to allow myself to think, "Life sucks". I have to admit that towards the last couple of years, of my bad years, I finally let myself think that.

Recently a friend was telling me about how her life usually sucks real bad, but doesn't suck so bad right now, and they want to keep it that way. Me, with all I'm learning about how we influence our life just by how we think, shared with her that being positive would really help.

While keying mail yesterday, (which I do in my 2nd job), I was thinking about this phrase. Does life really suck for some people. I can think of people that have had some really hard and horrible things happening in their lives and have seen people go through things I couldn't imagine dealing with. I have gone through some periods of my life where my health was terrible, work was terrible and there was nothing else in my life. But did life really suck?

I feel that life is meant to be a learning and growing experience. If we don't treat it that way, I don't think we really find happiness. I think that we can do what I've done in earlier years, where we say, "Woe is me". "Why does this have to happen to me?" "Life isn't fair." and we can feelings fester, feel sorry for ourselves, whether in pity parties, in anger, or in blaming life for being so awful. When we do so, we're not learning and growing. We're not "getting the lesson" that we are supposed to learn or grow from.

One of my "daily quotes" that I got from the Rev. Run that I've referred to in previous blogs quoted Oprah as saying something about "Get the lesson and move on". If we refused to learn and to grow, we stay mired in the crap. If we are mired then we are stuck, which truly sucks! (Like my play with words, stuck/suck)!?

Sometimes the part of life that "sucks" may be from bad choices we made. We all know that for every choice we make, there is a consequence. Bad choices beget stuck/suck, good choices beget growth, learning. I was thinking of some of the bad things that have happened to people in my life, including myself, and analyzing them. Some of the bad stuff was simply a consequence, and we're responsible for where we are/were. We needed to have the courage to look at our life, figure the changes and make them if we want a different result. This is hard to do, but CAN be done, as I'm repeatedly learning.

Some of the bad stuff in life we had NO control over. Life handed us the stuff. What was important wasn't trouble or tragic stuff we had to deal with, but HOW we chose to handle it. If we can get ourselves together, find a way to learn and grow, as well as to be positive, we can come out of everything as stronger and better people. We can learn to be happy in the "now". I refrain from saying we will be happier, because deaths happen, permanent disabilities happen, and I don't feel I can say we are happier after that. However, we learn, grow, and go on whatever journey it is we need to go on.

In every journey, if we are determined to be positive, we CAN be positive. I remember the story I heard from one of my sisters who was visiting in Seattle with our other sister and her husband Dick, one weekend during the last year and a half of his life, where his body was deteriorating day by day, hour by hour. One morning when she was there, they were all trying to figure out how to brush Dick's teeth, as he discovered that morning he could no longer hold the toothbrush in his hand and do it. Dick was laughing as they tried various things, with the solution being for his wife to hold the toothbrush, while he moved his mouth around it. They laughed and laughed through this. Dick chose to find joy over something that represented his body's deterioration. He would never say it "sucked". He couldn't change what happened, but he could live with positivity and find a way to laugh about it, rather than cry and go on a pity party.

I have a "vision board" I've been creating. If you've watched any Oprah, she's had a show dealing with "The Secret" and with "vision boards". I'm creating mine, as a PowerPoint, since I love PowerPoints much more than the gluing and pasting. In the wall paper that I've created for my PowerPoint, I've put the quote I found somewhere, and can't remember where, but it says "If you change your thinking, you change your life". I believe that so strongly now.

Really, if your "life sucks" isn't the truth that "your thinking sucks"? Life never "sucks". Life can have tragedy, can be have immense difficulty with challenges we would never chose, given a choice. So much of life has beauty, love and joy and most importantly, hope. If we can't find, appreciate and treasure those, we might not be able to find the strength to "get the lesson" or to "learn and grow". We can't create more joy in our life if we're unable to find the joy that's there and to be grateful for what we do have.

Gratitude Entry: Today I'm grateful for the little ones in my life. There are times where they try your patience. However, in the midst of that, I'm finding that when they sit next to me, cuddle with me or just give me a hug; they give me a precious moment of joy that would be missing without them in my life, trying my patience! I'm reminded again and again in these moments, how truly lucky I am.


Ang said...

I second all you said. It is how we choose to deal with our problems, trials and difficulties.
I once heard this quote. "Instead of waiting for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain" I love this quote!! We need to learn how to deal with our trials. You said it perfectly, They are for our own good to make us stonger.

cami said...

I like your quote too ang. We all need to enjoy life as it is now to the best ability possible. When we are stresses, laugh.

Ann, I loved your smile today...it never ended. You RADIATED joy and energy. We LOVED swimming and hanging out with you guys. Cami

cami said...

BTW, I love your blog make-over!!!

Ang said...

I also Love your makeover!!!!!!
Too cute!