Welcome Family and Friends!

I hope you all enjoy my efforts here!

Mar 31, 2009

Coming Attractions

Hello Everyone!!! I'm back from having the time of my life at Cochlear Celebration, in warm, sunny Anaheim, California. I'm a little overwhelmed with all there is to do here at home, and have to hit the ground running, so it will take me some time to fully update my blog with all the thoughts and going ons I want to share. Keep your eyes peeled! I will work on getting a post or two a day added over the next few days, as time allows. Possible coming attraction titles, "Celebration", "The Price of Embarrassment", Where's Goofy? "Pioneering Hero", "Four Old Ladies Do Disney". I'll be in touch! :)

Mar 24, 2009

Wow! What a surprise!

It's not everyday you get pleasant surprises! I was notified that a book was put together, for whom I had submitted a little humorous anecdote. They sent me the link to order the book. When I clicked on the link, I saw that I could preview the book! Imagine my surprise, to open the preview and find a picture of me with my anecdote right at the front of the book! Click on the title above to see the book! How FUN! I think I am famous now! :-)

Mar 21, 2009

Weighty Struggles

I'm sorry it's been so long since I posted. I'm kind of just hanging in there at the moment and struggling big time with my weight! I went to dinner with a friend and gained 4 pounds the next day. I felt pretty defeated that one meal could do me in so badly. Before weigh in time the next week, I sat attended a two day conference where it might as well have been raining food. My resistance was "nil" as I noticed my mood was such that I felt deprived if I tried to resist. The week that followed wasn't any better. Needless to say, to keep myself from getting down about the current struggles, I have weighed the last two weeks with my back to the scale, so I don't have to face up to where it is! I've not allowed my consultant to tell me where it is, but she did tell me it's not as bad as I think it is! I'll hold onto that!

One of my struggle occurs because of the realization that my whole life will be a constant effort to be vigilant. With a little body, it gains weight soooooo easily. Heck, I can tell by how easy it is to live in the body, it doesn't take so many calories to operate it. I'm not lugging around that extra 224 lbs every moment of the day. So it shouldn't be a surprise, or difficult for me to wrap my mind around the "eternal vigilance" concept in terms of my daily caloric intake. My only chance to get the upper hand, in times when I'm struggling to make the best choices, is to increase the activity and really exercise. I've not been doing well on that lately.

Next week I leave town for about six days to go to Anaheim for Cochlear Celebration. I'm really excited about the trip, but a little stressed that I'm starting the trip with the weight struggles currently not being handled well. I think I've forgotten the lessons I've been learning about living in the now, and allowed myself to be weighed down by the concern over the food challenges ahead.

I do keep telling myself not to get down about the fact that this is a life-long effort, and to be so grateful that at least I'm battling the weight ups and downs from this end of the scale, rather than from the top end of the scale some 224 lbs ago. When I reached the new weight loss number a few weeks ago, I had hoped to lost about 3.9 more lbs before I left for Anaheim. Why? Because I'd be out of the 160s and into the 150s. The 150s was where my goal weight was situated. Unfortunately, that isn't happening, so I'm trying to make peace with where I am now and be positive.

I guess the good news is that I am at least trying to take some action. I'm currently doing some research of different gyms, trying to find something good enough that I will keep going after I start! I find that it's pretty difficult to force myself on my treadmill these days, as I just hate it at times. When I return (just before April Fools day), I hope I will have made up my mind regarding the best gym choice and be motivated and ready to hit the ground running!

I'm grateful that I do have some fun ahead of me. First I have the Anaheim convention and all the fun that entails. A couple of weeks later I have another shorter trip planned in St. George area with one of my best friends, during the week that I have off for Spring Vacation from school. There really IS lots to look forward to. Here's to reminding myself to live in the "NOW again, enjoy my moments now, as well as continue to be excited for all the fun ahead. I'll make it a goal to look for opportunities to be active during the vacations and not let myself get bogged down feeling the stress of the food choices not being so perfect!! :)

Don't expect much posting between now and the first of April! I've got a busy week ahead of me until I leave, and then I'm off!!!! Toodle-ooo! Here's wishing you all a good week ahead and success in overcoming all your own struggles!

Mar 10, 2009

Don't Believe Everything You Think

I was just reading a little item that had been emailed to me. I came across the quote, "Don't believe everything you think". I think that quote is really profound and very helpful. When I was young, I don't know if we're quoting from something my sibling heard somewhere or what, but I remember one of my siblings and I joking and saying this, "Do you know what thought did?" Reply, "No." "Thought thought wrong". I think we thought this was pretty clever and a funny play on words. Little did we know how true this often is.

So many times I've become more aware of things I thought, there were wrong. I've been endeavoring to open my mind and listen to other opinions or explanations of where I might be wrong, without getting defensive. I need to be open in order to learn. I've also become just as aware of how strongly other people hold onto their erroneous thoughts. The thoughts that I'm picking up as erroneous, are ones that are really damaging to the person who believes them. To give a simplistic example, "That is such an ugly picture of me, I don't want anyone seeing that picture", sadly spoken with real hate and venom. The truth was the picture was a really awesome picture from years ago, that always touched me by the beauty in her. This is a very simplistic example, but I hope it illustrates what I'm trying to say here.

I've worked really hard in recent months to filter my thoughts very carefully. When I catch the negative ones coming in, I work to get a hold of myself and stop and analyze that. I work to find the real truth, which often allows me to eliminate that. Or barring that, to find a positive way to look at something. This internal effort goes on during all my waking moments. It's a constant policing effort. The good news for me, is that the more I do it, the more skilled I become at catching things and stopping them, and even stop thinking bad stuff all together. I am often finding myself able to prevent wrong thoughts, negative thoughts and bad thoughts from taking hold and sending me spiraling down emotionally. There are still times where I fail a little. The good news is, that I'm much quicker at catching on to the "criminal activity" and sending those little thought police out to do a better job of cleaning up the streets (my mind) and restoring law and order (peace an internal harmony).

The interesting thing about this process, is how quickly I catch on to someone else doing the same thing to themselves in the things they say. When you have such strong brakes, they react just as strongly to other's thoughts. It actually hurts me to hear anyone, but most especially people I care about; not only tear themselves down, but to negatively judge and tear apart the motives, actions and thoughts of others. The sad part is, that the times I've tried to tactfully show them a different way to see it, I've not been heard. The person seems to believe everything they think, and refuse to realize that "Thought thought wrong", or be incapable of understanding that "Thought CAN think wrong".

It's a struggle to to have an active strong "thought police force" in the beginning. However, it's so worth it. As I continue to grow and learn in so many areas of my life, at least I'm not throwing myself off the cliff anymore. Therefore I'm more open to learn the lessons I need to, and to attempt to find the next path I need to go down in my growth process. I've got a long way to go. I know I'm on the right path as I feel joy and happiness deep within. I don't have the job I want, enough money to stop working a 2nd job, or the relationship I always hoped for. None of that has happened during this renovation process. However, the internal journey has revealed that the joy, true happiness is within. An active thought police helps you to uncover and truly appreciate what is hiding within the depths of your soul. The true and awesome YOU.