I always thought "writer's block" was a fictional term. I'm always able to write at the drop at the hat. However, I now think it's real, and it's most likely a term that describes a mixture of thoughts and feelings that cause one to lose interest in writing. For quite a while, I figured I didn't have anything to write about.
However, that hasn't been true in the last month or two. After my recent trip to a convention in Seattle, the recent Utah Chapter AG Bell Conference, I've had at least two separate posts that I could enter. As I sit hit attempting to craft a post, my interest in posting the entries wanes. I checked in on my blog counters and see people are still stopping by to check my blog out. Guilt begins to register, in not providing something interesting to read for those taking the time to check in. Hence my new topic about my writer's block. It's my attempt to say "Hi", to everyone who checks in and let you know that I'm alive and well.
In my household, my niece has been undergoing chemo therapy for a brain tumor. Much of my spare time during the first round of the chemo was all about helping out with the kids. By the time I get down to my rented portion of the house for the night, there's been no interest in personal endeavors. In fact the week I was gone for the convention in Seattle, I was riddled with guilt at not being here to help out.
She's between rounds of chemo at the moment, but laid up flat in bed with pneumonia. So I'm back to spending a lot of my time off work just trying to help out. Maybe between my job (by the way I quit the 2nd job at the post office a couple of months ago, to spend the weekends taking care of my great nephew who's parent was working horrendous hours during the weekend. I felt someone needed to jump in and help out, because the hours the young boy was having to spend alone just wasn't good for a child his age. So my time that has not been spent working, has often been spent helping out with my niece's kids or my nephew's kid.
Personal fun on the computer? Non-existent! When I had moments to myself, which are rare and far between, the last thing I wanted to do was be on the computer. Perhaps this is the real reason behind the writer's block.
My nephew is returning to regular work hours in the winter, so my weekends that were spend with his son, will return to being my own, at least until I start taking some college classes for a program I've been admitted to. When my niece gets past the pneumonia, there will be a brief spell of free time, before she starts the second round the day after Thanksgiving. I will work on getting past my 'writer's block" and updating my friends and family who check in on the latest events in my life! Meanwhile, thanks to everyone who still cares and checks in, even though I've been virtually absent!
Nov 14, 2009
Sep 24, 2009
Living With A Stranger
- My hands are cold, I put them up to my neck and shoulders to warm them. Instead, I find a bony clavicle pointing out. I can't find a nice section of fat-padded skin to warm them on anywhere now.
- I lay in bed before going to sleep, playing some games on my PDA, my arms struggle to get comfortable, as they rest on a rib cage. No padded pillow under my skin exists anymore.
- I attempt to rest my arms on my stomach as I lay in bed, and instead, I feel the hip bone protruding through.
- I stare at my arms, no longer do I need to tell the phlebotomist where the vein is that I call "Old Faithful". Instead of taking my word for it, despite not feeling or seeing the vein, they now can see the vein that leads to Old Faithful as it snakes up my arm, all the way to the needle site. I now see and feel many blue veins trailing up my arm.
- I rest one hand on my leg as I drive the car down the freeway. Suddenly, I lift the leg to move my foot over to another peddle. Under my hand I feel a muscle tighten, and the narrow bone underneath it. Wow, I never realized how skinny my bone is, or felt my muscles at work before.
- My hand rest on my knee and feels its bony curvature. Gone is the time where x-rays had to be used by my doctor as he inserted a needle under the knee cap; when they just couldn't feel the knee cap and be sure where it goes.
- I see old friends that I've not seen for years. They look at me and see a stranger. They don't have a clue who I am. I have to tell them, it's me, their old friend of many years. Shock registers on their faces, as they realize they do know this stranger after all.
- I see size x2 in the store as I walk by and think, my gosh, those are huge pants. Yet at one time, I remember they weren't big enough for me at all.
- I couldn't find much to wear in my size, because I was just plain too big. Now, I'm finding myself hunting through sparse selections, because, it appears I might be getting too small. Huh?
- I wonder, how long will it take before I get used to this new stranger I live with? Don't misunderstand, I love this new stranger, but it's amazing how much I still struggle to adapt in my mind to the body I now inhabit. I wonder, how long will it take for it to feel normal, or at least familiar to me?
Sep 18, 2009
What's a blog?
I'm beginning to think that I no longer know what a blog is, the way I've been neglecting mine. I don't know why I've had so little interest in the fun parts of the computer. During the summer I avoided the computer like the plague. Now that I'm back at school, I work on it at the office, and avoid it like the plague at home. My own home computer crashed last week and I have no idea if I'm even interested in even taking it in for diagnosis, or replacing. I certainly can't afford to replace it.
I finally took a BIG step. I quit my 2nd job. Money will be tight and I will have to learn to pinch my pennies. Initially I contemplated quitting as it was impossible, in my mind, to work two jobs 7 days a week, and take two classes in a semester; and still maintaining my sanity. My endorsement program and it's prerequisites are going to have to wait until January to begin. The program is at Utah State in Logan, so I'd have to take the classes online. Well, long story short; they didn't have the accommodations in place to provide captioning for the online classes. In January it should be in place. Until then I have a reprieve!
I could have continued to work two jobs until January. Inside, I was dragging my heels at that idea, despite the need for money. However, recently a family situation came up with my extended family, where I saw a ahuge need. I have a young family member I feel strongly that I need to be there for on the weekends. Once, I realized the need; it was easy...I quit my job the next day. I'll figure out a way to get by financially. Family matters before all else in my life.
I just realized that when I write so seldom, my blogs are boring! I end up just reporting the latest and don't even try to be entertaining. I'll work on turning over a new leaf! Maybe I can end this boring post with a comment about something that is boggling my mind when I contemplate.
In December 2005 I was wearing a size 30 or 32. I was more or less moving into size 32 at the time, as my size 30 clothes were getting to be too tight and too uncomfortable. A couple of weeks ago I went to buy some new pants for school, as all mine were too baggy. The size: (prepare for your mind to boggle!) Size 6!!! SIX!!! VII!!! How is that possible? It blows my mind every time I even contemplate it! My weight then, 387. Nearly 400. My weight this morning (150!!!!) I'm about to hit the 140's! How is this possible! I know I did it, but it's hard to believe I DID it! :)
I finally took a BIG step. I quit my 2nd job. Money will be tight and I will have to learn to pinch my pennies. Initially I contemplated quitting as it was impossible, in my mind, to work two jobs 7 days a week, and take two classes in a semester; and still maintaining my sanity. My endorsement program and it's prerequisites are going to have to wait until January to begin. The program is at Utah State in Logan, so I'd have to take the classes online. Well, long story short; they didn't have the accommodations in place to provide captioning for the online classes. In January it should be in place. Until then I have a reprieve!
I could have continued to work two jobs until January. Inside, I was dragging my heels at that idea, despite the need for money. However, recently a family situation came up with my extended family, where I saw a ahuge need. I have a young family member I feel strongly that I need to be there for on the weekends. Once, I realized the need; it was easy...I quit my job the next day. I'll figure out a way to get by financially. Family matters before all else in my life.
I just realized that when I write so seldom, my blogs are boring! I end up just reporting the latest and don't even try to be entertaining. I'll work on turning over a new leaf! Maybe I can end this boring post with a comment about something that is boggling my mind when I contemplate.
In December 2005 I was wearing a size 30 or 32. I was more or less moving into size 32 at the time, as my size 30 clothes were getting to be too tight and too uncomfortable. A couple of weeks ago I went to buy some new pants for school, as all mine were too baggy. The size: (prepare for your mind to boggle!) Size 6!!! SIX!!! VII!!! How is that possible? It blows my mind every time I even contemplate it! My weight then, 387. Nearly 400. My weight this morning (150!!!!) I'm about to hit the 140's! How is this possible! I know I did it, but it's hard to believe I DID it! :)
Aug 22, 2009
How I Spent My Summer
I don't know what readers may still be checking my blog out. I guess I've pretty much taken a computer vacation this summer, hence no real blogging. This summer was a different kind of summer. My niece had to go through full time training for about 5 weeks. I offered to babysit, while she did that. See the pictures below to see who I spent most of my time with! My 10 month old great nephew spent many hours cuddling with me while he napped, as the first picture represents. Below that is a picture of Mac and Dalia in Burger King playing. As I've now returned to school, I really am going to miss those long precious days I got to enjoy
I'm not sure how well I will do with blogging at this point. I am returning to my seven day a week work schedule. I always found time to blog, even doing this in the past; as the computer is more a part of my life when school resumes. However, I'm going to be attending a summer program to gain another endorsement to my teaching license. The catch here is: there are some prerequisite classes that I have to take. The professor just recommended I take two classes this quarter. Life is busier than I like, but "This too shall pass"! I'll try to still blog on occasion!
Aug 3, 2009
GOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Yes, I'm so thrilled to announce that I finally made it to goal! After 3 1/2 years, I'm thrilled to finally be there! I'm probably going to lose an additional 5 to 10 lbs, as I can see now see how much fat there is on my body, vs the loose flabby skin.
In the early days of my blog, I pondered what a goal weight should be. I had read that the extra lose flabby skin could weigh anywhere from 2 to 20 lbs. I figured if I set the numbers too low, I may be trying to lose too much, as I had to account for extra skin. Now that I'm there, I can see more clearly. I have just a little too much fat in my hips. Everything else is good. So I will probably shoot for a little more. However, nothing can take away from the fact that I reached GOAL!!!!!!!!! Hip, hip hooray!
Before I close this blog entry, just want to apologize for so little attention to my blog. I've pretty much been on a computer vacation this summer. I've been so very busy. I've become a full time babysitter, while my niece undergoes training for her new job. By the time I can give the kids back to the parents, it's all been about doing things like walking (2 to 5 miles), then relaxing a little before heading to bed. The computer has been the last thing on my mind.
I will be returning to school in the next couple of weeks. After that happens, I should begin to post a little more! Meanwhile, despite the busy schedule, I'm CELEBRATING! I can't believe I finally achieved my GOAL! So everyone, jump up and shout, clap your hands, yell out in joy right along with me! :)
In the early days of my blog, I pondered what a goal weight should be. I had read that the extra lose flabby skin could weigh anywhere from 2 to 20 lbs. I figured if I set the numbers too low, I may be trying to lose too much, as I had to account for extra skin. Now that I'm there, I can see more clearly. I have just a little too much fat in my hips. Everything else is good. So I will probably shoot for a little more. However, nothing can take away from the fact that I reached GOAL!!!!!!!!! Hip, hip hooray!
Before I close this blog entry, just want to apologize for so little attention to my blog. I've pretty much been on a computer vacation this summer. I've been so very busy. I've become a full time babysitter, while my niece undergoes training for her new job. By the time I can give the kids back to the parents, it's all been about doing things like walking (2 to 5 miles), then relaxing a little before heading to bed. The computer has been the last thing on my mind.
I will be returning to school in the next couple of weeks. After that happens, I should begin to post a little more! Meanwhile, despite the busy schedule, I'm CELEBRATING! I can't believe I finally achieved my GOAL! So everyone, jump up and shout, clap your hands, yell out in joy right along with me! :)
Jun 30, 2009
Interesting Insight
I realized something so interesting today, that I wanted to share my latest insight. I'll start off by giving you some background.
When I weighed in at 387, and was on oxygen 24/7, I was pretty incapacitated in many ways. I had to move to another apartment, due to plans of my then landlord, to renovate the place. I wasn't really able to pack or carry a single box in the move. I had a hard time walking 10 feet, even with oxygen. It was tough to lug around that little oxygen tank, or so I thought. I had friends and family pretty much pack up my whole apartment and move it, while I sat and watched.
With the loss of the 227 1/2 lbs so far, obviously many things in my life have really changed. Recently, a family member underwent surgery. Due to it's effects on her, I've stepped in to carry the heavy loads, she can't or shouldn't. In the past, I remember feeling so sorry for people carrying the heavy loads for me. Here I am, a few years later, and I am carrying the heavier loads when needed and helping out.
What's interesting to me though, is that no matter what I was carrying both today, and in the past since I've become more able, NONE of it has been hard to carry. It always seems so easy and I often feel energetic and ready to do more after each task I've completed. I finally realized something today. NOTHING is as hard to lift or carry around as the 227 extra lbs I used to take everywhere I went. It was harder for me to walk across the room, than it is for me now to carry many heavy loads around. I can unload the car of all the big items my family member bought at Costco, with many trips from my car parked on the street into the house, then turn around and bring in her sleeping children from the car one at a time; and still have plenty of energy to do more.
No wonder I could barely move from anywhere I was ever sitting in the past. I wasn't in any kind of shape to carry 227 extra pounds anywhere, yet I spent every moment of my life doing so. How sweet it is to be able to do just about EVERYTHING I need to do, or want to do and to find it all so EASY to do. No wonder I find myself sometimes at late at night, as I head to bed, dancing and prancing around as I get ready for bed! :) I've got so much energy to spare, now that I have a drastically smaller body to move. Sweet!
When I weighed in at 387, and was on oxygen 24/7, I was pretty incapacitated in many ways. I had to move to another apartment, due to plans of my then landlord, to renovate the place. I wasn't really able to pack or carry a single box in the move. I had a hard time walking 10 feet, even with oxygen. It was tough to lug around that little oxygen tank, or so I thought. I had friends and family pretty much pack up my whole apartment and move it, while I sat and watched.
With the loss of the 227 1/2 lbs so far, obviously many things in my life have really changed. Recently, a family member underwent surgery. Due to it's effects on her, I've stepped in to carry the heavy loads, she can't or shouldn't. In the past, I remember feeling so sorry for people carrying the heavy loads for me. Here I am, a few years later, and I am carrying the heavier loads when needed and helping out.
What's interesting to me though, is that no matter what I was carrying both today, and in the past since I've become more able, NONE of it has been hard to carry. It always seems so easy and I often feel energetic and ready to do more after each task I've completed. I finally realized something today. NOTHING is as hard to lift or carry around as the 227 extra lbs I used to take everywhere I went. It was harder for me to walk across the room, than it is for me now to carry many heavy loads around. I can unload the car of all the big items my family member bought at Costco, with many trips from my car parked on the street into the house, then turn around and bring in her sleeping children from the car one at a time; and still have plenty of energy to do more.
No wonder I could barely move from anywhere I was ever sitting in the past. I wasn't in any kind of shape to carry 227 extra pounds anywhere, yet I spent every moment of my life doing so. How sweet it is to be able to do just about EVERYTHING I need to do, or want to do and to find it all so EASY to do. No wonder I find myself sometimes at late at night, as I head to bed, dancing and prancing around as I get ready for bed! :) I've got so much energy to spare, now that I have a drastically smaller body to move. Sweet!
Jun 28, 2009
Maybe this year!
I've once again been contacted by PR at Jenny Craig. They are definitely going to try and see if they can get my story submitted to People magazine for their next "Half my Size" issue. Last year, we were too close to the deadline to really get it in. This year we are starting early. Cross your fingers for me everyone!
By the way, if anyone out there is inspired by my story, please share with me anything you'd like about how I may have inspired you. Jenny Craig PR has asked me to include that information for them when I submit more pictures and details of my story. So, I'd love to hear from anyone that hasn't something for me to include. They will really have to "sell" my story so that it will stand out from the rest. Anything you guys know that will help sell my story would be appreciated.
By the way, I'm currently about 2 1/2 lbs from goal. I'm really encouraged by that. I really struggled in the weeks following my brother's passing. Grief was causing me to resort to emotional eating, and did cause a little weight gain. Thankfully, I finally reached a point I was able get back on program, and lose the weight I gained. So after 227 1/2 lbs lost, I'm almost to my 230 lb loss goal! I've been working towards this since December 2005.
Perseverance really is the key. There have been many bumps in the roads, in the last year, there have been more ups and downs; as the end got nearer. I am amazed at the fact that I'm going to achieve something I thought impossible just 4 years ago; and that I hadn't even dreamed of trying to do. Four years ago, I had given up any dreams of a better life. Perseverance and a dream, among other things got me here. Incredible!
By the way, if anyone out there is inspired by my story, please share with me anything you'd like about how I may have inspired you. Jenny Craig PR has asked me to include that information for them when I submit more pictures and details of my story. So, I'd love to hear from anyone that hasn't something for me to include. They will really have to "sell" my story so that it will stand out from the rest. Anything you guys know that will help sell my story would be appreciated.
By the way, I'm currently about 2 1/2 lbs from goal. I'm really encouraged by that. I really struggled in the weeks following my brother's passing. Grief was causing me to resort to emotional eating, and did cause a little weight gain. Thankfully, I finally reached a point I was able get back on program, and lose the weight I gained. So after 227 1/2 lbs lost, I'm almost to my 230 lb loss goal! I've been working towards this since December 2005.
Perseverance really is the key. There have been many bumps in the roads, in the last year, there have been more ups and downs; as the end got nearer. I am amazed at the fact that I'm going to achieve something I thought impossible just 4 years ago; and that I hadn't even dreamed of trying to do. Four years ago, I had given up any dreams of a better life. Perseverance and a dream, among other things got me here. Incredible!
Jun 16, 2009
My Beloved Brother
Last week I lost my brother. I'm truly grateful that I had the opportunity to have such a wonderful brother in my life. I have so many wonderful memories to sustain me at this time.
During a sleepless night, just prior to the funeral, I found comfort going to my computer, looking at pictures and videos from a visit I had with him last summer. My favorite pictures are he and I standing together, arm in arm. If you can't tell by the expression of on my face, I do adore him.
I love the picture below, as he was often laughing and joking. Seeing this picture makes me smile, and reminds me of his awesome sense of humor.
Sad as this time is for me, I'm grateful for the honor I had to be by his bedside during those last few days of his life. Emotionally they were tough, but I am so grateful for all the moments I could comfort him, hold his face in my hands and tell him that I loved him. He told me he loved me, surprised me with a sweet stroke of my face, in another moment, unexpectedly, and weakly lifted up his arms to hug me more than once. I will treasure these moments forever. I'm grateful for those last few days with him, hard as they were.
Bob, I love you. I'm so grateful I had such an extraordinary brother in my life. While I suffer from grief for myself right now, I know you are in a better place, happy and whole. Thank you for everything you did for me in life.
P. S. In the next day or two, I'll add a video I love, from that time; provided I can figure out how to edit it. So if anyone is still reading my blog (and counters seem to indicate no one is anymore check back here then.
Later note: I guess I won't be adding a video as it's been sooooo long since I learned how to do it in a class, that I've totally forgotten how! Maybe when I get time. Meanwhile, any family members that read this. If you want to see the videos I have of Bob, contact me and I'll send them to you.
May 23, 2009
Weight Loss Fallacy
A few weeks ago I was watching Oprah. Her guest were Kirstie Alley, and a man known who has lost more weight than anyone ever has. It was all about people that have fallen off the wagon and gained weight. The man had lost 1000 lbs, then gained it all back.
I've been there, lose weight, gain it back, lose weight, gain it back. this time around, my attitude and how I regard this whole process is a very different thing. To start with, I didn't go on a 'diet'. Diets are restrictive and a 4 letter word with me. In truth, it's all the many times that I was such a successful dieter that made me so fat. Research has proven that the majority of people that lose weight, gain it back, plus more. The first time I ever had to lose weight, I only had to lose 40 lbs to be thin. For 20 years, I went up and down the scale, starting in high school and ending in my 40's. I finally realized no more diets.
When I was watching Oprah, the champion dieter, who had lost 1000 lbs, gained it back and was trying to lose again said something very interesting. There was a picture of him the day he reached goal weight. He said that after that picture and reaching goal weight, he went home and started eating. Then he said something that I realized is the whole problem with "dieting". He said something to the effect that when you start a diet, you intend to lose the weight, then at some point in time you get off the diet.
That is the weight loss fallacy. You HAVE to start a program to change the way you handle food, if you want success. You also have to change how you handle exercise, or the lack thereof. Granted, exercise is something I've come to understand more now, than I did the first three years of my weight loss journey. But it's still part of the key.
When I first started Jenny Craig, my daily caloric program was 2000 calories. My body could eat more because it worked so hard to drag this nearly 400 lb body around everywhere. After a certain weight was achieved, I went down to 1700 calories. Quite some time later, another weight was achieved and I had to go down to 1500 calories. Finally, I reached a weight where I had to go to 1200 calories a day.
There's a "Healthy Utah" program that is offered by the State of Utah, for whom I work. I attended an evaluation, where they checked my health and one of the things that was written on the paper, on top of my cholesterol, blood pressure, blood sugar, weight and other things, was the amount of calories to "maintain" my weight. It was something like 1589. What????
That's when it first began to click with me. I always knew that in this journey, I had to change the way I ate and could never go back to binging, emotional eating and all the other things I did. That is why a huge part of my journey wasn't just the Jenny Craig program, but renovating my whole life, most especially how I think. If I didn't change my brain, I would immediately go "off a diet, and go back to old habits". I remembered my struggle at first when I went to 1700 calories, then 1500, then 1200. To realize that 1700 calories would eventually cause me to gain weight, as my body is so small now, and takes so little energy to drag it around and live my day. I finally realized that to embark on a true weight loss program means not just changing my brain, but ALWAYS being aware of calories. I hated that. However, this was all made easier and much more bearable when I finally realized that if I wanted to "relax" and enjoy the special occasions here and there, I needed to burn more calories. That is when I finally got on the exercise bandwagon, and have started to become a walker.
It's a weight loss fallacy that you start a diet, and get off. You NEVER get off, unless you want to be back on the "yo-yo" gain and lose bandwagon again. I have to admit that one of the things that I REALLY like about Jenny Craig, is that their food is so good, that I don't feel like I'm being restrictive in anyway. That is good for my frame of mind. While I can't just go off program constantly, eat the high calorie things frequently, unless I want to sabotage myself; at least I can enjoy the foods I do eat, plan for special events and limit the extent of eating at the special occasions. I plan to be on Jenny Craig for life, just because I love their food, but also, because it takes a lot of pressure off me. I don't have to worry. I can enjoy the food, yet still engage in my social life and go out to eat occasionally. Planned times off program, can be accompanied by exercise to burn off those extra calories! Eureka, I CAN do that! :)
I've been there, lose weight, gain it back, lose weight, gain it back. this time around, my attitude and how I regard this whole process is a very different thing. To start with, I didn't go on a 'diet'. Diets are restrictive and a 4 letter word with me. In truth, it's all the many times that I was such a successful dieter that made me so fat. Research has proven that the majority of people that lose weight, gain it back, plus more. The first time I ever had to lose weight, I only had to lose 40 lbs to be thin. For 20 years, I went up and down the scale, starting in high school and ending in my 40's. I finally realized no more diets.
When I was watching Oprah, the champion dieter, who had lost 1000 lbs, gained it back and was trying to lose again said something very interesting. There was a picture of him the day he reached goal weight. He said that after that picture and reaching goal weight, he went home and started eating. Then he said something that I realized is the whole problem with "dieting". He said something to the effect that when you start a diet, you intend to lose the weight, then at some point in time you get off the diet.
That is the weight loss fallacy. You HAVE to start a program to change the way you handle food, if you want success. You also have to change how you handle exercise, or the lack thereof. Granted, exercise is something I've come to understand more now, than I did the first three years of my weight loss journey. But it's still part of the key.
When I first started Jenny Craig, my daily caloric program was 2000 calories. My body could eat more because it worked so hard to drag this nearly 400 lb body around everywhere. After a certain weight was achieved, I went down to 1700 calories. Quite some time later, another weight was achieved and I had to go down to 1500 calories. Finally, I reached a weight where I had to go to 1200 calories a day.
There's a "Healthy Utah" program that is offered by the State of Utah, for whom I work. I attended an evaluation, where they checked my health and one of the things that was written on the paper, on top of my cholesterol, blood pressure, blood sugar, weight and other things, was the amount of calories to "maintain" my weight. It was something like 1589. What????
That's when it first began to click with me. I always knew that in this journey, I had to change the way I ate and could never go back to binging, emotional eating and all the other things I did. That is why a huge part of my journey wasn't just the Jenny Craig program, but renovating my whole life, most especially how I think. If I didn't change my brain, I would immediately go "off a diet, and go back to old habits". I remembered my struggle at first when I went to 1700 calories, then 1500, then 1200. To realize that 1700 calories would eventually cause me to gain weight, as my body is so small now, and takes so little energy to drag it around and live my day. I finally realized that to embark on a true weight loss program means not just changing my brain, but ALWAYS being aware of calories. I hated that. However, this was all made easier and much more bearable when I finally realized that if I wanted to "relax" and enjoy the special occasions here and there, I needed to burn more calories. That is when I finally got on the exercise bandwagon, and have started to become a walker.
It's a weight loss fallacy that you start a diet, and get off. You NEVER get off, unless you want to be back on the "yo-yo" gain and lose bandwagon again. I have to admit that one of the things that I REALLY like about Jenny Craig, is that their food is so good, that I don't feel like I'm being restrictive in anyway. That is good for my frame of mind. While I can't just go off program constantly, eat the high calorie things frequently, unless I want to sabotage myself; at least I can enjoy the foods I do eat, plan for special events and limit the extent of eating at the special occasions. I plan to be on Jenny Craig for life, just because I love their food, but also, because it takes a lot of pressure off me. I don't have to worry. I can enjoy the food, yet still engage in my social life and go out to eat occasionally. Planned times off program, can be accompanied by exercise to burn off those extra calories! Eureka, I CAN do that! :)
May 22, 2009
Pedometer Push
It seems to take me a long time to learn what I really need to know, even the basic stuff! I hear information, but somehow it doesn't register or click. I've realized that my struggles to lose the last 5 lbs, as well as to keep from gaining during these last few months relies so much on exercise. If I am ready for a little more freedom with my food plan, then I need to boost up the exercise. To not do so, only makes my journey more difficult, if not outright sabotage.
Initially, I planned to join a gym. I've been members of gyms for long periods of time before. Eventually, I would quit going, and continue to pay. Always telling myself that I would go. I started investigating the different gyms near me, and even found a good deal. However, the real truth, I mentioned to my Jenny Craig center's manager, I hate to exercise. I have my own treadmill and hate to get on it. I was fighting with myself to make myself get on it. When I'd get on, then I'd set a goal, and push myself harder and higher, to the point where I did far more than I really wanted. Then I'd hate it more! She told me, DON'T join a gym and throw away your money. Just go walking! Was it that simple? It was after this that I discovered and did a I did a post in April about the Jordan River Parkway/bike path, my friend introduced me to. I discovered I liked walking.
With that discovery in mind, I saw the cutest little pedometer below at my Jenny Craig center and bought it. You can see the pedometer when it's closed in my picture below, as well as when it is open. Oh, and I must tell you that I took this picture early in the morning. The number of steps listed are VERY low due to this.
I started to wear my cute little pedometer. A funny thing happened as a result. As I began to wear it, I found myself becoming very aware every day of a few things. I learned how many steps I take on average. I watched the numbers go up and up and up when I went on very long walks lasting one or two hours. I would get so excited when I'd go for a walk and the numbers would come back so high! It turned out to motivate me even more. On busy days, when it was hard to find time to fit in a long walk, I'd find other ways to do it. I would eat my lunch in 15 minutes, then spend the rest of my lunch time on a brisk walk, trying to bring those numbers up. I found myself parking my car far away from where I needed to go, just so I could get those numbers bumped up! It's been fun to see the numbers go up, to realize all the little things I can do throughout the day to bump them up.
Last week I found a reality show on TV called, "I Want to Save Your Life", that I checked out. Apparently this guy helps people to make the changes they need to, in order to lose their weight and "save their lives". In the episode, he gave the couple a pedometer, and encouraged them to do about 10,000 steps a day. It clicked. I realized I'd heard that somewhere before, and more than once! Only now that I discover the pedometer for myself, I wonder why it took me so long to just discover how easy it is to just "walk"! Just keep adding those steps to my pedometer! Yes, it IS that easy!
Now granted, I'm probably not in wonderful shape and awesomely fit like you see from the people who spend lots of time in the gyms. Who knows, maybe someday I will change my views and find myself in the gym. Or maybe I'll find something else I like, that like walking, is "just that easy". For now, progress comes bit by bit, not all at once. I'm thrilled just to find another piece of the puzzle in my journey!
Initially, I planned to join a gym. I've been members of gyms for long periods of time before. Eventually, I would quit going, and continue to pay. Always telling myself that I would go. I started investigating the different gyms near me, and even found a good deal. However, the real truth, I mentioned to my Jenny Craig center's manager, I hate to exercise. I have my own treadmill and hate to get on it. I was fighting with myself to make myself get on it. When I'd get on, then I'd set a goal, and push myself harder and higher, to the point where I did far more than I really wanted. Then I'd hate it more! She told me, DON'T join a gym and throw away your money. Just go walking! Was it that simple? It was after this that I discovered and did a I did a post in April about the Jordan River Parkway/bike path, my friend introduced me to. I discovered I liked walking.
With that discovery in mind, I saw the cutest little pedometer below at my Jenny Craig center and bought it. You can see the pedometer when it's closed in my picture below, as well as when it is open. Oh, and I must tell you that I took this picture early in the morning. The number of steps listed are VERY low due to this.
I started to wear my cute little pedometer. A funny thing happened as a result. As I began to wear it, I found myself becoming very aware every day of a few things. I learned how many steps I take on average. I watched the numbers go up and up and up when I went on very long walks lasting one or two hours. I would get so excited when I'd go for a walk and the numbers would come back so high! It turned out to motivate me even more. On busy days, when it was hard to find time to fit in a long walk, I'd find other ways to do it. I would eat my lunch in 15 minutes, then spend the rest of my lunch time on a brisk walk, trying to bring those numbers up. I found myself parking my car far away from where I needed to go, just so I could get those numbers bumped up! It's been fun to see the numbers go up, to realize all the little things I can do throughout the day to bump them up.
Last week I found a reality show on TV called, "I Want to Save Your Life", that I checked out. Apparently this guy helps people to make the changes they need to, in order to lose their weight and "save their lives". In the episode, he gave the couple a pedometer, and encouraged them to do about 10,000 steps a day. It clicked. I realized I'd heard that somewhere before, and more than once! Only now that I discover the pedometer for myself, I wonder why it took me so long to just discover how easy it is to just "walk"! Just keep adding those steps to my pedometer! Yes, it IS that easy!
Now granted, I'm probably not in wonderful shape and awesomely fit like you see from the people who spend lots of time in the gyms. Who knows, maybe someday I will change my views and find myself in the gym. Or maybe I'll find something else I like, that like walking, is "just that easy". For now, progress comes bit by bit, not all at once. I'm thrilled just to find another piece of the puzzle in my journey!
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