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Jun 6, 2008

Loved ones who have passed on

This may be really "out there" for some of my readers, and not for others. However, I believe that the people we love who pass on (euphemism for die), are still there for us on the other side, loving us and caring for us. Furthermore, I believe they have more power to help us than they ever could when they were alive.

This journey to renovate my life, that I've been on for the last nearly three years really began with the death of my brother-in-law. He taught me how to live by how he fought for life on his way out of it; and by his influence on me after he died. I was in such a bad place emotionally during his battle to live, I wasn't open to the lessons I was learning the last two years of his life.

Even though he had been married to my sister several decades I didn't see him enough or spend time with him enough to feel real close. It wasn't until a time he was off workfor a back injury, when he began flying in to spend a week at a time helping to take care of my mother; that I began to feel close to him. This time period began about 9 months before he was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease. Then after diagnosis, as his body deteriorated physically, one of his main struggles was just to breathe.

He loved joking, fun emails. Actually he loved anything that made him laugh. We communicated a lot, while he was still able to via emails. I would encourage him to "breathe", and he would encourage me to "laugh". Despite this I wanted to die, he wanted to live with every fiber of his being. I knew I was being a spoiled, selfish brat to not treasure what I had.

At his funeral, I felt the presence of his spirit so strongly (as did others). All of a sudden, my perspective started to change. Ideas and different viewpoints were presented to me before I even flew back home from the funeral, that I was finally had an open mind and heart to hear. My hard shell was cracking allowing drastic internal changes to start. I knew he was there on the other side guiding and helping me. He was not alone though, my parents (my mother passed away the year before he did) were working with him, I'm sure of that.

Before my mother passed away, my dad had come to me and communicated with me in a way that was very clear. He had helped me "stay the course", even though I still was very unhappy and struggling. My mother hadn't come to me at this point in my life, but has since. Despite the help of my dad, I wasn't ready to learn and grow in the ways I eventually was ready to by the time Dick (my brother-in-law) died.

Dick is a powerful soul, and the way he lived his entire life showed that. As I mentioned earlier, I believe that the ones we love can help us more when they've passed on, than they could when they were alive. Somehow, he was there after his passing; doing work that wrought the beginning of what has become profound change in me. Sad to say, since he died, I've been re-born. My life renovation that I've been on for the last nearly 3 years, can all be traced back to the very beginning, his death and his work on my behalf on the other side. I'm only sorry that it took something so catastrophic as his body dying on him bit by bit, while he still found joy and happiness every day; for me to be open to the lessons he had to teach.

Last night as I was struggling with some things that had happened in recent days, which were drowning me in tears and sorrow. I was struggling to find a way to be positive, as Dick would be. At least I was far enough in my life renovation project to finally know and understand to my core, that we are in control of whether we are positive and happy. I knew I had I had to find my way through and do this now, before any kind of depression could take hold (more of a struggle to hold this at bay without antidepressants). Before I came downstairs to my living area in the house, to try and find a way to work through my issues; my niece had given me a hug and let me know that she loved me and was there for me. I was holding onto the hug and love my neice gave me as a positive beacon to help me find a way to be positive, in short to find a way out of the darkness that was so close at hand.

As I struggled internally with all this, I decided to read. I hadn't taken time to read in a long time. All of the books I picked up from my large "unread" pile to read, felt like the wrong one. I picked up the book, "Walking In the Garden of the Souls" by George Anderson and Andrew Barone. I'm familiar with George Anderson's books, as I've read several. He's a psychic medium (like John Edwards for those familiar with him). As I know that those that pass on can communicate with us, through my own experience, it's not a stretch for me to believe that some people are very gifted in this communication. I can and have learned from some of the books written by psychic mediums.

I really believe that I was lead to pick up this book. It was what I needed at that moment. I've had this book for a couple of years, never finding time to read. When I was ready for its message, it was there waiting for me. As I read, I finally found my peace of mind returning. I found my perspective returning, and I found my happiness returning. I miss my loved ones that have passed on, but I am so grateful to the roles they continue to play in my life. Our loved ones still care for us, still are concerned about us and our well being. We miss what they have to offer, unless we are open to their love, help and messages from the other side. I can feel that they are there offering me love and support right now.

Gratitude Entry: I'm so grateful for the love I get to experience. I feel love from the family I live with, from the family that's passed on, from the family that's here and from the family of my heart. One of the lessons I learned last night is that all we really need to help us continue to learn and grow, instead of turning bitter and unhappy, is 1)love and 2) hope. I'm so grateful that I have these now in my life.

1 comment:

cami said...

WOW...that was GREAT and tender and inspiring. I would love to visit with you about your experiences sometime in more detail!!!