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Jan 29, 2009

Unintended Messages

I've written in previous posts about eliminating negativity, as well as being positive about ourselves, and others. Being positive and grateful in our daily living, helps lead us to finding joy in living and enjoying the moments in life, as there is no tomorrow, only this moment.

These "themes" are recurring themes in my life now, and seem to commingle thoroughly. At a recent event, I attended I found great joy in so many precious moments I experienced. There were sweet moments after sweet moments. I felt like I'd experienced little slices of heaven. It proved quite jarring later when I heard someone recounting the experience to others from her perspective. The same event where I experienced such continuous joyful moments continuously unfolding, she had not only been pretty miserable. She had used every miserable moment to judge others in her circle and find them wanting and inferior to her. As I overheard her sharing her perspective, she went on and on, listing so many negatives for so many people. To add insult to injury, she maligned and judged people in a way that shocked me. As I've thought about this, I've come to realize that she had communicated a whole lot to her audience, that she probably didn't realize.

She had painted herself as someone who can only feel good about herself if she put others down. She had painted herself as someone who glories in gossiping and bad mouthing others behind their backs. She had painted herself as someone that one couldn't trust or enjoy. She also had painted herself as unwilling to to "love thy neighbor as thyself". Actually, I think the truth really is that she doesn't even like herself. She struggles to tell herself how wonderful she truly is, by making others seem like less, and making sure everyone hears those opinions.

I felt sadness and pity for her on one hand, not just anger at her maligning gossip. Would you want to communicate this to others? By our words, people know us. Our lack of charity and kindness behind the backs of others, only paints our own character as wanting. Our enjoyment of gossiping and putting down others, reveals the mentally unhealthy person beneath the words. Would you want to be communicating things kinds of messages? I wouldn't. It behooves me to challenge myself to communicate in a way that leave positive unintended messages about myself and my character.


Anonymous said...

Very insightful Ann. I found great joy in the event I believe you are talking about too. - paula

Ann said...

The many events you and I experienced during my recent visit were truly sublime, however, they aren't the event that I'm talking about here! Glad to know that you experienced the joy, right along with me. :-)

cami said...

No questions about your character Ann, you leave great impressions on people and make others feel good.

Toom bad we have to be surrounded by spoil sports in our lives :(

Anonymous said...

When I read this blog, I thought "great! What have I said now?" and tried to think back. Guess I'm off the hook, I couldn't think of anything I've done.

Ann said...

Cami, thanks for your kind words about my character. It truly made my day!

Diane, you're too funny! Glad you're off the hook this time! :)

NariceatL4 said...

It seems that the woman in question also needs to know that others' successes only help to raise us all to a higher plane, and should be celebrated. No one should ever feel threatened or less because they believe another to be 'better' than they are.
I always come away from reading your blog feeling better, and wanting to be better :)

Ann said...

NariceatL4 I like that and am going to remember that, "Other's successes only help to raise us all to a higher plane and should be celebrated". That's a profound statement. I'm going to remember that. I'm touched that my blog leaves you feeling better and wanting to be better. I am honored by that. It's time for me to mosey on over to your blog and learn some good teaching ideas! :)