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Oct 19, 2008

Latest Challenge and Upcoming Fun

It's always tough to see someone you love go through hard time, challenges or pain. You want so much to help and to fix things, but you can't. You can try to be a good friend, listen to them, and hope when wanted, you can offer insight and in general, give support.

We all know that we have to go through some rough times in life. There's no avoiding it. I've gotten pretty good at learning how to get through any of the tough stuff in mine, and turn it around and keep a positive attitude and attempt to grow.

However, I find that while I'm getting good at dealing with my tough stuff, I'm not good at learning how to not let other people's stuff get me down. With my life, I can control it, I can have positive thoughts and know I'll find my way through. With other's lives, I not only have no control, but I have found myself getting upset about what others are going through, especially if I view something happening to them as wrong or unfair. I hurt when they hurt and I feel sadness. My challenge is learning to not let other's burdens, become mine. I realize that I have to show my support and love in any ways I can see to do so, then I have to return to my peace and positivity that keeps my life progressing. I have to work to make sure I learn how to not let my peace and progress be stopped due to devastation I feel on the behalf of others.

I've not got the answers, but I do feel it's progress just to realize and that I need to do this, and then to work on it consciously.

On another front, I'm going to have a birthday this week, and while it won't be the big blowout I had for myself on my 50th, I know that I will look for what is meaningful for me this birthday, and do it! I used to be depressed a lot over the things that never happened on my birthday, often feeling isolated and alone, and wishing people would do sweet things for me. Last year, I learned that "a great birthday" is in my control. I will have no expectations (that can often be followed with disappointment), of what I want others to do and just do for myself what I want. What I want this year, it's simple; a dinner with my loved ones! I can't think of anything sweeter than just time over a meal to enjoy the people I love! Maybe sweet little Dalia and/or Mackie will want to sit on my lap and help me blow out the candles?! You think? That would be bliss!

4 comments:

cami said...

Happy upcoming birthday!!! What day?

I struggle with b-days sometimes too. My dad gave us the most amazing birthdays growing up...and I often let myself get discouraged when my expectations aren't met. I am however getting better!

Ann said...

I'm not surprised that you dad gave you such great birthdays. We grew up with great birthdays ourselves, and obviously he carried on the tradition. When you grow up with such great ones, disappointment in the ones we have as an adult that are so great are difficult. Good luck in continuiing to improve on this, as I am trying to!

Kasey Byrd said...

I do understand the sadness that you feel from other people's lives and trying not to let it bother you. I haven't shared with a lot of people lately, but my cousin Michelle lost a baby for the second time this year and while I was so excited about moving in my new house with Ken, I was also so sad for Michelle and her husband's loss. I just felt horrible that I was at two extremes with my emotions, excitement and grief. It has been a rough summer for me and my family. But life has to go on and I hope Michelle can learn how to deal with the loss and move on to living life with her wonderful husband. Thanks for sharing your feelings. You will notice in my poem that I was talking about my cousin.

Ang said...

Ann, As I read this, it struck me that this is the exact way I feel about my kids. When ever they are sad, I am sad for them. My heart aches for them and while I would love to bear their burdens, I can not. This has been a learning experience for me. I know there is a huge difference in situation, but I can relate to your feelings.