Where's Goofy?

So does my title lead you to think that I'm going to talk about the Disney character that can be found here with his buddies at Disneyland? I DID see Goofy, and all his friends, but I FOOLED you, (It's still April Fool's Day for at least another 20 minutes!) If you guessed the goofy below, you're WRONG! :)



The real subject of the blog is living in the moment! When you in the moment, you can find joy and goofiness anywhere! Below are three other possible winners you can vote on for the "Where's Goofy"? contest. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you some other possible
candidate for Goofy?

CANDIDATE #1


Above you I present candidate #1! Don't ask this innocent little photographer what in the world she did to deserve such brazenly goofy treatment!

CANDIDATE #2


Here we have Candidate #2! Believe it or not, this gentlemen can be found all over Cochlear Americas materials and videos. Yes, yes, he is a likable fellow, but I daresay none of this materials shows the Goofy #2 that this naive' little photographer had an encounter with. Believe me, she's not paparazzi!

CANDIDATE #3


What? You know her? Really? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I now present for your voting pleasure Candidate #3, Ms. Little Skinny Herself! :) For a little "illegal swaying of the voting bloc", let me present one little tidbit. You'd have never found Goofy #1 or Goofy #2, if Goofy #3 wasn't egging them on! (Vote me, vote me!)

Now that I've presented your three voting options! The polls are now open! (Management regrets to apologize for the elimination of the Disney Goofy. He just wasn't goofy enough for this competition and is out of the race!)

In addition to the voting options below, I have a challenge. Can you figure out what all three "Goofys" have in common! The only clue I will give you is that they did all spend the last weekend attending Cochlear Celebration. Please enter your guesses along with your votes!

(Here's crossing my fingers for a certain someone to win the "Where's Goofy"? contest.)

Coming Attractions

Hello Everyone!!! I'm back from having the time of my life at Cochlear Celebration, in warm, sunny Anaheim, California. I'm a little overwhelmed with all there is to do here at home, and have to hit the ground running, so it will take me some time to fully update my blog with all the thoughts and going ons I want to share. Keep your eyes peeled! I will work on getting a post or two a day added over the next few days, as time allows. Possible coming attraction titles, "Celebration", "The Price of Embarrassment", Where's Goofy? "Pioneering Hero", "Four Old Ladies Do Disney". I'll be in touch! :)

Wow! What a surprise!

It's not everyday you get pleasant surprises! I was notified that a book was put together, for whom I had submitted a little humorous anecdote. They sent me the link to order the book. When I clicked on the link, I saw that I could preview the book! Imagine my surprise, to open the preview and find a picture of me with my anecdote right at the front of the book! Click on the title above to see the book! How FUN! I think I am famous now! :-)

Weighty Struggles

I'm sorry it's been so long since I posted. I'm kind of just hanging in there at the moment and struggling big time with my weight! I went to dinner with a friend and gained 4 pounds the next day. I felt pretty defeated that one meal could do me in so badly. Before weigh in time the next week, I sat attended a two day conference where it might as well have been raining food. My resistance was "nil" as I noticed my mood was such that I felt deprived if I tried to resist. The week that followed wasn't any better. Needless to say, to keep myself from getting down about the current struggles, I have weighed the last two weeks with my back to the scale, so I don't have to face up to where it is! I've not allowed my consultant to tell me where it is, but she did tell me it's not as bad as I think it is! I'll hold onto that!

One of my struggle occurs because of the realization that my whole life will be a constant effort to be vigilant. With a little body, it gains weight soooooo easily. Heck, I can tell by how easy it is to live in the body, it doesn't take so many calories to operate it. I'm not lugging around that extra 224 lbs every moment of the day. So it shouldn't be a surprise, or difficult for me to wrap my mind around the "eternal vigilance" concept in terms of my daily caloric intake. My only chance to get the upper hand, in times when I'm struggling to make the best choices, is to increase the activity and really exercise. I've not been doing well on that lately.

Next week I leave town for about six days to go to Anaheim for Cochlear Celebration. I'm really excited about the trip, but a little stressed that I'm starting the trip with the weight struggles currently not being handled well. I think I've forgotten the lessons I've been learning about living in the now, and allowed myself to be weighed down by the concern over the food challenges ahead.

I do keep telling myself not to get down about the fact that this is a life-long effort, and to be so grateful that at least I'm battling the weight ups and downs from this end of the scale, rather than from the top end of the scale some 224 lbs ago. When I reached the new weight loss number a few weeks ago, I had hoped to lost about 3.9 more lbs before I left for Anaheim. Why? Because I'd be out of the 160s and into the 150s. The 150s was where my goal weight was situated. Unfortunately, that isn't happening, so I'm trying to make peace with where I am now and be positive.

I guess the good news is that I am at least trying to take some action. I'm currently doing some research of different gyms, trying to find something good enough that I will keep going after I start! I find that it's pretty difficult to force myself on my treadmill these days, as I just hate it at times. When I return (just before April Fools day), I hope I will have made up my mind regarding the best gym choice and be motivated and ready to hit the ground running!

I'm grateful that I do have some fun ahead of me. First I have the Anaheim convention and all the fun that entails. A couple of weeks later I have another shorter trip planned in St. George area with one of my best friends, during the week that I have off for Spring Vacation from school. There really IS lots to look forward to. Here's to reminding myself to live in the "NOW again, enjoy my moments now, as well as continue to be excited for all the fun ahead. I'll make it a goal to look for opportunities to be active during the vacations and not let myself get bogged down feeling the stress of the food choices not being so perfect!! :)

Don't expect much posting between now and the first of April! I've got a busy week ahead of me until I leave, and then I'm off!!!! Toodle-ooo! Here's wishing you all a good week ahead and success in overcoming all your own struggles!

Don't Believe Everything You Think

I was just reading a little item that had been emailed to me. I came across the quote, "Don't believe everything you think". I think that quote is really profound and very helpful. When I was young, I don't know if we're quoting from something my sibling heard somewhere or what, but I remember one of my siblings and I joking and saying this, "Do you know what thought did?" Reply, "No." "Thought thought wrong". I think we thought this was pretty clever and a funny play on words. Little did we know how true this often is.

So many times I've become more aware of things I thought, there were wrong. I've been endeavoring to open my mind and listen to other opinions or explanations of where I might be wrong, without getting defensive. I need to be open in order to learn. I've also become just as aware of how strongly other people hold onto their erroneous thoughts. The thoughts that I'm picking up as erroneous, are ones that are really damaging to the person who believes them. To give a simplistic example, "That is such an ugly picture of me, I don't want anyone seeing that picture", sadly spoken with real hate and venom. The truth was the picture was a really awesome picture from years ago, that always touched me by the beauty in her. This is a very simplistic example, but I hope it illustrates what I'm trying to say here.

I've worked really hard in recent months to filter my thoughts very carefully. When I catch the negative ones coming in, I work to get a hold of myself and stop and analyze that. I work to find the real truth, which often allows me to eliminate that. Or barring that, to find a positive way to look at something. This internal effort goes on during all my waking moments. It's a constant policing effort. The good news for me, is that the more I do it, the more skilled I become at catching things and stopping them, and even stop thinking bad stuff all together. I am often finding myself able to prevent wrong thoughts, negative thoughts and bad thoughts from taking hold and sending me spiraling down emotionally. There are still times where I fail a little. The good news is, that I'm much quicker at catching on to the "criminal activity" and sending those little thought police out to do a better job of cleaning up the streets (my mind) and restoring law and order (peace an internal harmony).

The interesting thing about this process, is how quickly I catch on to someone else doing the same thing to themselves in the things they say. When you have such strong brakes, they react just as strongly to other's thoughts. It actually hurts me to hear anyone, but most especially people I care about; not only tear themselves down, but to negatively judge and tear apart the motives, actions and thoughts of others. The sad part is, that the times I've tried to tactfully show them a different way to see it, I've not been heard. The person seems to believe everything they think, and refuse to realize that "Thought thought wrong", or be incapable of understanding that "Thought CAN think wrong".

It's a struggle to to have an active strong "thought police force" in the beginning. However, it's so worth it. As I continue to grow and learn in so many areas of my life, at least I'm not throwing myself off the cliff anymore. Therefore I'm more open to learn the lessons I need to, and to attempt to find the next path I need to go down in my growth process. I've got a long way to go. I know I'm on the right path as I feel joy and happiness deep within. I don't have the job I want, enough money to stop working a 2nd job, or the relationship I always hoped for. None of that has happened during this renovation process. However, the internal journey has revealed that the joy, true happiness is within. An active thought police helps you to uncover and truly appreciate what is hiding within the depths of your soul. The true and awesome YOU.

Number Change!

Normally I don't post my weekly weight loss efforts tally, but will break with that today. Why? Because I finally got rid of the weight I gained at Christmas and then some! After 2 months of saying I'd loss 222 lbs, and several posts ago joking about all the twos that applied to me, I'm finally in some new numbers. As of today, I've lost 224.1! After I lose slightly less than a pound (.9), I will be within 5 lbs of goal. I'm thrilled to be moving forward again. I knew I would eventually, as I struggled with all the events that have thrown me off course. I'm glad to be there. CELEBRATION time for me folks! :)

Joy of Now

One of the things I seem to be re-learning anew this week, is how wonderful life is, if you allow yourself to truly live in the now. I've stated in an earlier post some time ago the fact that now is all we really have. The past is gone, out of your hands, and it's not worth it to re-hash, obsess, hold grudges or let it take anymore control of you. The future never happens. When we are so obsessed with the future, we miss NOW. We look so much to the future, that when it becomes "now" we judge it, grouse about it, and find fault. Our "now" was yesterday's future. To truly enjoy the future, you have to enjoy the "now".

Think of your favorite treat. Do you savour every morsel and bite? Let it melt in your mouth, fully feel the texture of it? Think of how much pleasure you gave yourself as you forgot about everything and just totally gave yourself over to the enjoyment. That's what it's like to truly live in "now". For example, when driving in the mountains today, I'm driving through areas I routinely see as I commute to the different students I work with. However, today I made sure to really "look" at the view, to empty my head of thoughts, worry, routine, and just savour the visual treats before me. The visual treats of my normally routine trip, left me in awe, and my mind reeling as I took in the sights, really took them in. The other day, I drove home from the office, and I felt joy as I saw two young boys enjoying themselves while they walked home, saw the sweetness of a father walking with his toddler son. I was realizing how sweet so many of these moments really were, in my glances as I passed them.


All of this appreciation for "now" isn't coming out of the blue. It's no accident that I've been listening to Eckhart Tolle's audio book called "The Power of Now" as I drove this week. I'm not necessarily recommending it to anyone, as I know some people will be closed off to it, feeling like maybe it doesn't fit in with their "spiritual" views. However, I feel that so much of what he has to say can teach us how to live our best life. I love to feel myself continue to be transformed by this very personal journey I'm on. The feeling of joy I feel as I truly focus on "now" is one I don't ever want to lose. I'm sure, being human, I will forget what I'm learning many times, and have to re-learn the lessons. It seems so many of life's simple lessons are easiest forgotten. I wish you all joy.

Opportunity Strikes

A quote I read in the last few months goes through my head at times. I don't know remember the exact verbiage (hey, my memory IS that bad!), but the gist of it is that when opportunity comes, grab it. It never comes again.

So many times, I've not taken advantage of opportunities. I've thought and re-thought things too many times, always having lots of excuses for why I can't/won't. Sometimes the opportunities are small, sometimes they're big.

Today was a day for a small opportunity. The mail volume was low at work and much to my surprise, they allowed us to leave work 3 hours before our shift was over. Wow! What an unexpected gift. Here was an opportunity to do something fun on a weekend afternoon. Most of my weekends are exercises in survival and getting through them. While my weekend job is no stress in some ways, it's very stressful in others. What to do, how to take advantage of this opportunity. It once was, that I'd go straight home and decompress from the stress of a 2nd job, if I was able to leave early. Today, I decided to strike while the iron was hot and DO something fun.

I checked out my PDA and saw that there was an captioned movie playing in 30 minutes. (There's only one movie in the whole SLC valley that's captioned at any given time, something that we really need to change! But that's neither here nor there). I would have loved to have friends or family join me. However, if I spent my time trying to text/email my friends and family trying to find someone free, I'd be too late to make it. I decided I was going to just go out by myself, have fun, catch a movie and do whatever I wanted to! Off I went and caught the only movie in town I could enjoy today. "Paul Blart: Mall Cop".


The funny thing is, I didn't even want to see this movie when I saw clips for it. However, nothing was going to stop me from "enjoying rare time off work on a beautiful afternoon". It was a funny movie! I had a great time and got to enjoy lots of laughs!

I got home tonight at my normal time, but feeling refreshed, able to enjoy the time with the little ones, rather than feeling drained and a need to isolate that often hits me as I struggle to survive the weekend. I love opportunity and can't wait for the next time it knocks!

Is two my lucky number?

I attended an event tonight put on by Cochlear Americas, the company which makes the brand of cochlear implants I wear. From the time cochlear implants first were invented and found to be successful until more recently, people would only implant ear. In the last few years, research has been done that proved that two cochlear implants are better than one. I jumped on the bandwagon and got two as soon as I realized I could do that!

When discussion turned to the question of bilateral cochlear implants, many deaf people and parents of deaf children are pondering if they should get two. Myself and 3 other adults who had two implants were called up to the front of the room to share our story and ask questions posed to us by the presenter. There were a lot of people in the room that knew me. They've seen me go through the experience of getting the 2 cochlear implants as well as lose the 222 lbs. (Notice all the repetitions there of 2) I've changed and become tons more energetic due to the weight loss. The presenter knows who I am, but doesn't know how my energy level has changed (he knew I'd lost so much weight since he saw me in 2006 that he didn't recognize me when tonight). When he was asking me "my question" to answer for the audience, he asked me how my energy has changed since I got my cochlear implant.

The funny thing was, there was a lot of laughter in the room at that question! He was confused. What was so funny? What was the inside joke? Diane made a comment about the diet Coke giving me energy (I do drink too much). However, I knew most of the laughter was from people who'd seen me totally transform from a person who barely moved to this new person via the weight loss. So I had to laugh too! I told the presenter there was an inside joke, but we wouldn't talk about it now! I did answer his question to get the intent of it, or so I hope, in relations to my cochlear implants. The intent for those that don't know, is that you don't have to exert so much energy to hearing and understanding, but can just hear. Ergo, more energy!

Afterwards, some of my friends and I were joking around about it. In talking about the 2 cochlear implants, 222 lbs lost, we realized there was a play on numbers! Notice all the straight 2s! Then I added my own made up numbers. Between the cochlear implants and the weight loss, I decided I had 22 times the energy! Just so I can claim 2 as my lucky number! 2 cochlear implants; 222 lbs lost, 22 times the energy! Add it all up, what do you get? Not a mathematical answer, but rather it all equals a life transformed.

Insulation Rumination

It's interesting to realize how much insulation fat provides. I had an extra 222 lbs of insulation that I carried around me all the time.

It didn't matter what, I was always hot. It took very little for me to sweat. I used to think that I was just one of those people that had very active sweat glands or ducts. When I wore hearing aids, back before my cochlear implants, I would ruin a hearing aid every year through sweat. They'd send it in to be fixed because it was always under warranty, only to find that they had to replace it instead.

When joking with my friends, about the subject of menopause, I would tell them that when I enter menopause, I wouldn't know I was having a "hot flash if it hit me in the face", since I was always so hot! One of my friends (Diane) was always cold. Her joke was, if she enters menopause and gets a hot flash, she'd pull up a chair and get warm! :)

Well, here I am, 222 lbs lighter and I can't remember what it was like to be hot all the time, nor to sweat so easily and constantly due to all the heat. I'd sweat at the least little thing. I didn't have to exercise to sweat. I could just stand for a few minutes and down it would fall. Now, when I work out, I have a hard time getting it to be hard enough to get some sweat going.

I have a part time job on the weekend keying mail for the post office. We key mail in this large building that has one giant open room with rows and rows of computer terminals and people keying. It is probably at least the size of a football field or more. I imagine it's a challenge to heat the thing properly, what with all the people and computers. I never used to notice the temperature though. NEVER. I would just wear a blouse and slacks while I worked.

It's a whole different story now. I can't believe the steps I have to take to stay warm while I'm keying. It started with beginning to layer my clothes, even in the summer. Then I noticed I was still freezing. I started to layer with heavier clothes, turtle necks, sweaters and even added light hooded jackets.

I recently started to wear long johns! Can you believe. I had to do something more! So here I am today, for example, wearing long johns, a turtleneck, sweater, and a winter jacket (outdoor coat) ALL DAY as I sat there keying mail. Another problem I've had is keeping my hands warm. I now key the mail wearing gloves on top of that. Yesterday I dressed similarly. After adding long johns and the winter coat to my attire, this weekend, I felt content that I was finally warm enough! The weirdest thing is to get off work, and find that you already have everything already on to go outdoor and head home!

Despite the difficulties, I wouldn't take the 222 lbs back and revert to just a blouse and slacks attire for anything! The funny thing is to realize I would now pull up my chair and join my friend Diane as we try to get warm, if only we could get a hot flash!